On the Journey, IV...etc.

Wow, lots to blog about.

First, I was not accepted into the clinical trial. The central lab that re-tests all the tissue samples says that my cancer is estrogen receptor positive, so I am not eligible for the triple-negative trial. My oncologist says I am borderline (you just knew these things weren't clear-cut, didn't you?) and I am more to the negative side than the positive. He's asked the cancer centre pathologist to look at my samples again, but he thinks it's still negative, and we'v decided to proceed on that assumption.

He also told me all my heart test results came back in the excellent range! Apparently my heart is functioning as well as that of an athlete--and he wasn't being ironic! I have no idea how it got to that state--as anyone who knows me will tell you, I am pretty far from an athlete! Wow...three exclamation points in one paragraph--time to move on.

So today was my first chemotherapy session. It went well. I got there way too early--anxiety makes you do odd things--but they took me in right away anyway. They gave me steroids to fight nausea (along with a couple of other meds to do the same thing), and the 'roids are making me a bit hyper (see exclamation points above!). The first med was given IV, and slowly (since it was my first time). The second and third meds were given via injection in the IV line. My port looks good, and the nurse changed the dressing for me. I can't get the stitches out until Friday, but they look fine too. And as usual, the staff were amazing! Caring, expert, funny, even. And Butterfly Nurse (who was my nurse today) liked my tat...

Strong Heart was with me the entire time, we prayed beforehand, she held my hand at the ouchy parts, she talked to me, made me laugh, and took me to Windy's for lunch after (possibly a dumb idea, but I had a craving for a cheezburger). Last night when she arrived home, I was crying--before she even said hello, she asked what was wrong. It was nerves and over-thinking things--but she listened, she calmed me. Strong Heart continues to be a blessing to me.

So far, no nausea, no headaches or funny tastes or any of that (just red pee, as I was warned, from one of the meds...sorry if that's TMI). Of course, it's the first time, but this bodes well. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.

And one of the best things about today was the election results! Not only the national ones (my greatest relief and hope), but two statewide initiatives where Strong Heart lives too. Medical marijuana and stem cell research...both hot button issues, and some complex ethical questions in the latter case.

So now I'm feeling a bit wired still, but tired at the same time, if that makes sense. I'm off to bed with a cup of hot tea, my iPod and a good book (The Battle for God, by Karen Armstrong, about fundamentalism in Judaism, Islam and Chrsitianity--great reading, folks, and highly reccomended).

All in all, as Tony would say, "I'm greeeaat!"

I'll keep you posted....