Job 2:7-10 So the Adversary went out from the presence
of God, and inflicted loathsome sores on Job from the sole of his foot to the
crown of his head. Job took a potsherd
with which to scrape himself, and sat among the ashes. Then his wife said to him, "Do you still
persist in your integrity? Curse God, and die." But he said to her, "You speak as any
foolish person would speak. Shall we receive the good at the hand of God, and
not receive the bad?"
Matthew 5:1-10 When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up the
mountain; and after he sat down, his disciples came to him. Then he began to speak, and taught them,
saying:
"Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the realm of heaven.
"Blessed are those who mourn, for
they will be comforted.
"Blessed are the meek, for they
will inherit the earth.
"Blessed are those who hunger and
thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. "Blessed are the merciful, for they will
receive mercy.
"Blessed are the pure in heart, for
they will see God.
"Blessed are the peacemakers, for
they will be called children of God.
"Blessed are those who are
persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the realm of heaven.”
****
Will you pray with and for me? Wise and
Eternal One, help us to understand the difficulties and pain in our lives.
Remind us of your steadfast love for us, and your eternal presence with us.
Give us grace to learn from our mistakes and the mistakes of others; teach us
how to be strong and loving in the face of fear and defeat and to be wise and
brave in times of pain and struggle. In all your names, amen.
“Why is life so hard sometimes?” It’s a
very valid question. Jesus says that the hairs of our head are numbered and
that God knows when even a sparrow falls, so if God cares so much, then why do
we suffer so much pain and greif and have so many struggles? Surely a loving
God would not let these things happen!
This has been a difficult week for the
world. Increasing strife in the Middle East, then a civilian plane shot down,
with the added tragedy of that plane being full of researchers into HIV/AIDS,
on their way to a meeting in Australia. Other sad stories—the deaths of
entertainers who defined their art—Elaine Strich and Johnny Winters; the
horrific torture and killing of a turtle by two teenagers in Florida, who
recorded it and posted it on YouTube; yet another transwoman murdered, this
time in Baltimore; the continuing crisis of children at the US-Mexico border;
the worsening epidemic of Ebola in West Africa; and politicians are behaving
badly. Yes, many of these stories are recurring, and some will not be
remembered much beyond the next few days—but they contribute to our sense of
frustration and sorrow.
And, since we are all human, we have had
sorrow and frustration and pain in our own lives as well—perhaps we are dealing
with uncertainties in our health, our work, our relationships, our families.
Maybe we have lost a loved one or the loved one of a friend. Or maybe we've been disappointed by a friend,
a job we had hoped to get, an extra pay day that didn't come through, a family
member who couldn't fulfill a commitment or promise. It might have been something as simple as a
car breaking down, or not doing well on a test.
Sometimes life just—well, sucks. It’s
not a word you hear from the pulpit often, but sometimes that’s the word that
fits.
“Why?” we ask, maybe even shaking our
fist at the sky. “Why do you allow these terrible things to happen, God?”
That’s essentially the advice of Job’s
wife. “Why do you insist on believing that God is good? Look at you—look at
what God allowed to happen to you! You might as well give up—curse God who did
this to you, and give up on life!”
It’s tempting sometimes—to just give up
on trying to be the person we know we should be, to give up trying to be strong
in the face of frustration and sorrow and grief and other people’s bad
behaviour. Some days I really want to just go off on people—the one who cut me
off in traffic, the one who twists the truth just enough so that others think
badly of me; the ones out for themselves and careless of who they trample on. I
don’t want to be the better person; I don’t want to just shake my head and move
on. I want to lose my temper and tell them exactly what I think of them. I
don’t want to be strong and forgiving and understanding and compassionate. I
don’t want to just pick myself up, brush myself off and move on. “Curse God and
die!” Some days, it feels like a plan.
But—you knew there was a “but” or
two!—but here are a couple of things to consider.
One is that when we think our lives are
difficult, we are usually comparing our lives to someone else’s life, and
wondering why theirs is so smooth and ours seems so hard. We struggle to find
work, and they walk right into a position—they knew someone or had some special
experience. We are lonely, and look at a couple walking by holding hands and
smiling at each other—and wonder why we don’t have a relationship like that,
why we can’t meet the right person, or why our relationship is so rocky, when
theirs is so blissful. Maybe we can barely make ends meet and stand in line at
the store behind someone who is buying all the things we would like to get but
can’t afford, and envy them the option of not having to keep a running total of
the groceries in their head as they shop, as we have to do.
The reality? It’s very different. We
cannot see into other people’s lives, into their hearts and relationships and
struggles. I guarantee you that everyone struggles, everyone has pain. We may
not see it, it may not be something that is public knowledge, but every person
struggles with something. We are not alone in this. We see what we envy about
their lives, but we can’t see what causes them pain. There’s a story about a
magician who casts a spell so that everyone can see the struggles others are
going through, and they are offered the chance to exchange their burden for
anyone else’s burden—but everyone chooses to keep their own burden. They have
seen what others deal with and prefer their own struggles.
So that is one thing to bear in
mind—whatever it is we are dealing with, others are also dealing with an equal
or greater struggle.
Another way to look at it is that while
our lives may be hard sometimes, there is also much that is good. We may not
have the job we want, but we have a job; our health may not be good, but we
have health care; we might not live in the house we had hoped for, but we have
shelter and warmth and light and running water.
This does not mean be a PollyAnna ;
rather, it is the cultivation of true gratitude for what we have—and we have so
much. I may not be partnered right now,
but one day I may be—and in the meantime, I have a loving son and an extended
family and many dear friends; I am hardly alone in the world. I don’t have a
lot of money, but I have a safe place to live, clothes to wear, enough to
eat—sometimes too much to eat—water that is safe to drink, reliable
electricity. Actually, I’m pretty rich—I have a car and a laptop and a tablet
and a cell phone and a TV and lots of books and furniture and art. Not too
shabby.
The reality is that there is always
someone who has something you don’t—no matter how wealthy you are, or healthy
or what a wonderful relationship with your partner or the perfect job—there’s
always someone you could be jealous of, if you let yourself.
And there’s always someone who is worse
off than you too—has no family, no job, unsafe water, an abusive relationship,
no family, chosen or biological…
So what can we do with all this? How do
we get through those days when we agree with Job’s wife, when life just seems
too hard to accept?
The fact is that the world simply isn’t
what it should or could be—people don’t behave as well as they might and hurt
people. We don’t love ourselves as we should and hurt ourselves. That is what a
lot of the pain in the world boils down to, isn’t it? But sometimes there is no
one to blame for our struggle; and even if there were, it is not too likely
that the person would change things, even if they could. In other words, we
have to deal with the world, and our lives, as they are, not as we wish they
were, or how they could be, if only…
And we can’t expect God to step in and
change things with the wave of a wand. We have free choice—we are not puppets.
That means that how we react, and how we behave when things aren't what they
could be, is up to us. God is with us in the struggle, but we are only ones who
must choose our behaviour.
We can choose to continue to weep over
what we don’t have and can’t see how to get; we can continue to be angry with
people who have what we want or need, we can complain that life is not fair. Or
we can be grateful for all that we do have, trusting that what we truly need
will come our way; recognising what we CAN do to be where we want to be, and
then doing it.
It’s not always easy; but that first
step is realizing that we cannot blame God for our lives not being what we want
when, in fact, we can either make the changes we want and need, or we can
accept that this is our life, at least for now.
If we can do either of those things, then our lives will not only be
more comfortable, but we will be able to see what we can change, how we can
take things in our own hands, be active about getting what we want and need. If
I am not happy with something in my life, then I can either change whatever it
is—get it out of my life or change it so I can be happy with it—or I can sit
and complain about it. Yes, that sometimes means accepting things we don’t
like. But when I had to come to terms with cancer, I couldn’t deny that it was
there; I couldn't pretend it didn’t exist and that I didn't need surgery and
chemotherapy. Was I happy about dry skin and losing my hair and being cold all
the time and mouth sores? Not for a moment. But I did what I could—found lotion
that smelled wonderful, made a party out of shaving my head, found cute hats to
wear, learned out to make smoothies that felt good and tasted better and were
nutritious to boot.
I am not a saint or PollyAnna—if I can
do it, so can you. There is always
something, some way, some how to make life good, in spite of the struggles.
Find the sparks of sunlight and love; know that they are reminders of God’s
presence with you, even when you can’t see or feel that loving presence. Yes,
it is hard—but it can be done.
The life you have is yours to make; what
you make of it is your gift to God and others. In all God’s names, amen.
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