Advent Grumping Friday Five!

This week’s Friday Five sees Will Smama at her best:

Parishioners pushing for carols before you digested your turkey?

Organist refusing to play Advent hymns because he/she already has them planned for Lessons & Carols?

Find yourself reading Luke and thinking of a variety of ways to tell Linus where to stick it? (Lights please.)

Then this quick and easy Friday Five is for you! And for those of you with a more positive attitude, have no fear. I am sure more sacred and reverent Friday Fives will follow.

Please tell us your least favourite/most annoying seasonal....
1) dessert/cookie/family food
2) beverage (seasonal beer, eggnog w/ way too much egg and not enough nog, etc...)
3) tradition (church, family, other)
4) decoration
5) gift (received or given)
BONUS: SONG/CD that makes you want to tell the elves where to stick it.

I know, I know.... pretty grumpy for November but why not get it out of our systems now so we are free to enjoy the rest of the festivities.

Ooooh, I’m ready for this. I’m in a grumpy mood anyway, after finding two of the tires on my car slashed this morning. It seems to be random hooliganism (old-fashioned word, but it says how I feel), and not personal, as two or three other cars in the area also had tires slashed. Screwdriver. In the sidewall. Twisted about. In one tire, there were two holes. The capper? The tires were just a bit more than six months old.

So here goes:
1. Mincemeat pie. I mean, what’s the point? I’ll go for most any pie—apple, peach, banana cream, pumpkin, key lime, sweet potato, grasshopper—but mincemeat just doesn’t taste like anything. Or if it does, it’s the spices. No thanks.
2. Actually, I pretty much like them all. Hot chocolate, eggnog (see my archives for last year, where I included a recipe for killer eggnog), Christmas beer, hot spiced wine, champagne, hot cider…bring them on! So I guess that stuff that calls itself low-fat, no sugar, pastuerised non-alcoholic eggnog you can buy at the store in a carton--that's what I don't like.
3. Tradition..hmm. The retail tradition of placing a Christmas tree on top of a haunted house. I mean, can’t we at least get through Halloween before we have Christmas? And then the way they over-decorate!! Every inch of the mall has ornaments or lights or flags or poinsettias or fake holly. Ugh.
4. Speaking of decoration… Those fake icicle lights. In the US South. Where they never have icicles. I mean please. (OK, and now I’ve offended every RevGal to the South of the Mason-Dixon line in the US).
5. Gift… Hmm. This is potentially dangerous, because what you really mean here is “Worst gift given by someone who never reads your blog.” No, actually, I’ve rarely gotten gifts I didn’t appreciate. Perhaps the washcloths with my name printed on them that my grandmother gave me when I was six.
Bonus: “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree.” Boo Hiss. I mean really. Of course, it could be worse. “Rocking Around the Manger Scene?”

Can I offer a quick antidote? Here are my favs of each:
1. Sugar cookies with frosting
2. Champagne
3. Coming home from the midnight service and then—and only then!—putting the Christ child in the nativity.
4. The brass stars my mother had in her windows for many years—they lighted from the inside,and were pierced with star shapes for the light to glow through. Lovely.
5. The gold cross my son gave my for Christmas while I was in seminary. It was his own eight-year-old idea; and I still wear it most days.
Song/CD: This is tough. One of Mannheim Steamroller’s Christmas CD’s, Handel’s Messiah: A Soulful Celebration, Chicago’s Christmas CD or just the song, “Mary, Did You Know?”