Sunday, February 26, 2006

Friday Five Two Days Late...

Hi, my name's Rainbow Pastor, and I'm a procrastinator. ("Hi, Rainbow Pastor.") (Shamelessly stealing from LutheranChik)

Five friends, in no particular order:

1. Old Friend (OF)! I've known this friend since 3rd grade. Sometimes we've been closer, sometimes further apart, but always we've stayed in touch and been friends. She's been with me through some bad times--my parents' divorce, my serious childhood illness, my own divorce--and some wonderful times--my coming out, my college years, seminary. She's always there for me, and I've tried to always be there for her. Her brother passed away recently, and she commented to me that I was her only friend who really knew her brother--she had met all her other friends after the brother moved away, out of state, so they never met him, or knew him. I need to call her and see how she's doing...

2. High School Friend (HSF)! I've mentioned before that we were very close in high school, then lost touch after I graduated, then got back in touch by God's grace last year, and actually had lunch together (with his partner of 25 years and their son) last month. He's one of those friends where you pick up the conversation where you left off, whether it was a week ago you talked or fifteen years. Songbird's PB friend's mother reminds me of HSF's mother--I always felt she didn't quite approve of me, and I don't know if it was because my parents were divorced, or because we lived in the apartments (low cost housing...) or because she had a suspicion about HSF's orientation, and "knew" there was potential for disaster in our relationship (of course, what she didn't know was that I had no interest in HSF "that way').

3. Coming-Out Coach! COC had gone through the same experience that I had (marriage for 20-some years, parenthood, divorce and coming out), only about five years earlier. He was very shy, but his roommate (very gregarious) got to know me and COC began getting together on a regular basis. We both had Mondays off, so we'd go shopping in the afternoon, have dinner together and see a movie. He talked me through more grief and struggle in one night than most therapists see in a week! We rarely talk anymore, but he was one of those "for a season, for a reason" friends. I will never forget him and will always be grateful for his love and support.

4. Germany Friend (GF)! We had so much in common--a call to ministry, spirituality that was not totally comprehended by our spouses, children of the same age, and the military (she's former military, my then-husband was in the military). We talked and laughed, we did all the fun girl stuff (shopping, watching chick flicks and eating chocolate, cooking huge meals), she held me when I sobbed with post-partum depression (having gone through it herself only three months earlier), our families shared holidays together, and we talked theology for hours. But when I cam out, she had nothing more to do with me. Her emails (the few I receive now) have to do with my son (who is still friends with her children) and are cold. We meant so much to each other, it is a grief to me that we are severed.

5. Constant Friend (CF)! We met in seminary, in a Systematic Theology class. I had known him earlier, as a friend of a friend, but we hadn't really gotten to know each other. Then a group of us gathered into a study group for the Systematics class. Besides being a great way to study (probably the only reason I passed!), we came to know each other very well. CF wasn't the one who knew all the definitions, but he came up with the questions we knew we had to answer. Then when I faced a minor (although it seemed major) crisis in my first congregation, he was there for me in a way even my then-husband was not. He prayed with me, he had his prayer group pray for me, and he kept in touch with me all the way through the crisis. He was one of the first people I came out to. When he moved across the country to be with his partner, we kept in touch, and DP and I visited him for a week of luxurious spoiling (see blog on trips). Again, we don't talk every day or even every week, but when we do, our connection is still clear and strong.

And there are others--my sister, my mom, DP, PF and APF...many more. I thank God for the blessing of these friends every day.

1 comment:

Barbara said...

I'm a procrastinator too, but I don't want to talk about it right now. Maybe later.